Hyperbole on the Homefront, Part II
May 10th, 2012
Lenus awoke with a splitting headache and her head on a table. She pulled her head up and looked around. She was in the Unsavory Maiden tavern, and could smell the alcohol on herself. She glanced out the window and winced as her eyes met the early rays of light from the rising sun.
She looked around and groaned. The tavern was deserted except for her. She noisily pushed her chair back and attempted to get up, but then immediately sat back down and groaned again.
The barkeep poked his head in through a door, spotted Lenus awake, then stepped through the door. “You’re awake,” he said.
“At the risk of my dignity,” Lenus said, her voice cracking, “what happened last night?”
“You went through an entire bottle of wine, then started picking fights with the other bar patrons,” the barkeep said. “You claimed to be an emissary of Leorus, and I think you sentenced a man to death for being ‘painfully unintelligent.’ You broke his nose, and yelled, ‘The pundits will come for you with their threshing books,’ as he fled the tavern.”
Lenus sighed and buried her head in her hands.
“And then,” the barkeep said, “I’m not quite sure what happened, but I think you accused a man of being a spy from the ‘little people.’ He ended up fleeing the tavern, too.”
“And then I passed out?” Lenus asked hopefully.